Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
