laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
