so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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