im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
