I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
