: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
