he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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