How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
i would one night stand the shit outta him
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
