Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
