That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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