I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
