are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
you made out with another girl for some wings
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
