So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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