Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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