the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
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