By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
