whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
