why didn't you poke me back
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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