She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize