Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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