Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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