All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
