glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
