we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
How does one acquire holy water?
Sorry about my life...
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize