Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
You can't just leave with hair like that
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize