Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Randomize
