TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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