I'm going to rape someone's good day.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize