I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
