We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
