Christians are straight up FREAKS
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
