i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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