she takes plan B like it's going out of style
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
