Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
