i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
