Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Gay?
German.
Pity.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
