She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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