when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I just gift wrapped bread.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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