So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
