I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
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