she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
