he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
