im having a threesome with these popsicles
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
My pussy is not your playground.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
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