I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize