10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
