No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
