Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Randomize