It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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