It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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