In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize