Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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