I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
