So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
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