But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
