This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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