U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
