I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
