1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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