Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
