my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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